The
U.S. may have recently lost its title as most obese nation to our
neighbours down south in Mexico, but America is still winning in a lot
of other not-so-great categories. Our list of ways America is still #1
explores the true essence of what it means to be an American. with
stupidity and dumbness for all.
Highest Incarceration Rate
The
land of the free? Not unless you count free meatloaf in America’s
jails. The U.S. boasts the highest incarceration rate of any country,
with 730 people imprisoned out of every 100,000.
Highest Bipolar Rate
America
might just be the Amanda Bynes of the world. In a study of 11
countries, the U.S. proved to have the highest rate of bipolar disorder
with 4.4% of citizens receiving diagnoses in their lifetimes. But fret
not. Insanity is most common in wealthy countries, showing that the
crazier we are, the better it is for America.
Wasting Electricity
Leaving
the lights on and the AC blasting is as American as it gets, making
this country a proud leader in wasting energy. Low energy productivity
costs the U.S. $130 billion per year, a staggering amount except when
compared to the cost of gasoline for your SUV.
Divorce Rate
The
U.S. has an average of 4.95 divorces per every 1,000 people. The bad
news is that’s a lot of broken homes. The good news is there are plenty
of easy targets on the rebound!
Drug Use
Put
down your pipe and pay attention. America leads the world in cannabis
and cocaine usage, which makes for a sad reality but a great database of
mug shots. Researchers also found that America leads the world in
alcohol and tobacco usage.
TV Watching
Americans
spend way too much time in front of the boob tube. The U.S. is tied
with the U.K. for the most TV watching per week, clocking in at an
average of 28 hours per person. And that was before the final season of
Breaking Bad started!
Teen Moms
With
the popularity of shows like Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant, America does
a stellar job when it comes to glamorizing young moms. So much so, in
fact, that the country has the highest percentage of teenage pregnancies
of any developed country on Earth.
Phishing
We
may not have a Nigerian prince who wants to give us a million dollars,
but we do lead the world in the number of internet phishing sites with a
whopping 24%. It’s good to know all that stolen Internet cash is going
to our neighbours.
The Most Lawyers Per Capita
No
country knows how to sue better than this one, so thank goodness we have
tons of attorneys chasing our ambulances. There is one lawyer for every
265 Americans, which may sound like a bad thing unless you sell
billboard space.
The Cost Of Having A Baby
In
the U.S., that little bundle of joy is going to cost you a big bundle of
cash. A standard delivery costs $9,775, which, for mothers not covered
by insurance or Medicaid, can be more painful than the labour itself.
Wine Consumption
America
is number one in wine drinking, beating out France, Italy and Spain — a
list that include countries whose citizens start drinking wine at
birth. A study shows 12.54% of the world’s wine consumption happens in
the U.S., presumably by people who’ve grown immune to excruciating wine
hangovers.
Plastic Surgery
The
U.S. is the leader in plastic surgery with more than 21.1% of total
procedures worldwide taking place within the borders of our country.
Turns out the face of the nation is full of Botox and silicone.
Soft Drink Consumption
You
want a Big Gulp, a Super Big Gulp or a Super Super Big Gulp? America
leads the way in soft drink consumption. Males ages 12-29 are the
biggest culprit, ingesting an average of 160 gallons of soda each year.
We’d like to buy the world a Coke, if only so it can catch up to our
gargantuan soda habit.
We Own The Most (Annoying) Devices
It’s
no surprise that America is a land where consumption reigns supreme,
but this is especially true when it comes to our smartphones, iPads and
other gizmos. As of last year, the U.S. led the world with 165 million
devices. The biggest problem? Where to charge them all.
Most Twitter Users
There
are more Twitter users in the U.S. than in any other country. However,
the Netherlands is more active, fronting a competitive race to see which
nation can make the most terrible jokes in 140 characters or less.
The Most Millionaires…
Wouldn’t
it be nice to be uber-rich? Chances are someone you know is a
millionaire. In America, there are 5.9 million millionaire-status
households. The trick is to find out who they are so you can work your
way into their inner circles.
…And the Most Billionaires
Those
poor millionaires they have no idea what wealth really means! Alongside
the most millionaires, the U.S. also has the highest number of
billionaires. Though this is primarily based off what we’ve heard in rap
songs.
Dogs
They
may be hairy, loud and messy, but unlike your college room mate who
bore the same traits, you love your pet pooch. In the U.S., 37% of all
pet-owning households own a dog.
Cats
Cats
aren’t just for old spinsters any more. The U.S. is the world cat
leader with more than 76 million pet felines in households across the
country. And every single one of them has a video on YouTube.
Crowd funding
Can’t
raise money for your weird peanut butter and jelly-themed avant-garde
art installation? Make your friends pay for it! That’s the logic behind
crowd funding, which has risen in popularity in recent years. The U.S.
leads the world in friend and family-funded projects with 72% of global
crowd funding projected to come from America in 2013.
Roller Coasters
Americans
aren’t afraid of a wild ride. The U.S. boasts a whopping 650 coasters,
including 464 sit-down coasters and 44 inverted coasters. Now if only we
could bring our guns along for the rides.
Worker Productivity
In
spite of the lazy American stereotype, U.S. citizens stay longer in the
office than those in most other nations and produce more money per
person. Unfortunately, the study doesn’t say how much of that time is
just our workers playing Candy Crush on Facebook.
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